Shall I send it?

Hi,

Please don't scroll down if you don't want to read it and delete.

I don't know whether I should bug you with my thoughts. I want to say a lot of things but I can't.

I know I have pushed you, kept talking in circles and said certain things that I shouldn't have but I know you are the only person that I have ever loved and it will remain the same always. Each day in the past 1.5 years has been a testimony for that. I just can't shut your thoughts out of my mind, how much ever I try to. I know, it is futile to say anything now. Whatever was between us was just online but I feel that way for you, still. It is very unusual but it is there.

Whatever has happened, I can never change. I have bugged you enough, maybe I am doing it right now, also. I had applied all my restrain from January last year to let you be but it has been extremely difficult for me.

I know you have moved on.

I am still there. I can't be the one hurting you but it doesn't mean that I should look for someone else. I don't know why my mind is still with you. I guess, that is what is love. I was yours and will always be.

Everyone is different and am too. For me, love was supposed to be once and it happened. I can't undo certain things that I said now but I have changed a lot about me. I have overcome the jealousy, craving for love and affection, wanting to feel special and feeling the need to talk to my parents regarding my problems to much extent but still the love for you remains. I have tried everything but it is there, still.

If you ever feel like you want to talk or give me chance, am here.

But please don't waste your time just because you want to help me out. I will manage on my own.  I don't want to spread unhappiness or negativity in your life at all. Whatever is my life, I am responsible for it. Why should you break your head or waste your time over it?

Yours....

I really want to send this to him. I know, this will disturb and make him angry. I guess, I should not. :(

I sent it.