How will I manage?

How will I manage?
I can't talk to anyone, I can't speak out,
I have to bear everything on my own.

It's very easy to blame me and make fun of me,
I can't even turn to someone for them to just listen to me, providing emotional support is out of question.
I have to remain silent.

My colleagues have someone, who listens, who supports.
What about me?

Whenever I try to speak, even to my mom, few things just come in my mind.
Why does my mind start thinking about how delicte I am being and how nobody can handle that? How self-centered I am? Am I someone who is unable to look beyond his emotions? How weak I am that I need someone to listen to me, I even used to go and cry or talk to my mom at the age of 25?
What right do I have to bug anyone with my problems and thoughts? What right do I have to negatively influence someone, everyone wants happiness and I have no right to do just the opposite, being the unhappy negative thing that I am? How sissy I am that I keep things in my mind, shouldn't I just let it be?

How can people like me even survive? Isn't the world better off such people?


I wish to leave...