Of love and hurt

Chalo, let's bother you again ;)

I am again going mad. Well, I know by now it must be irritating for you but please listen. You are the only one who listens to me. I can't keep a diary because it has high chances of being read by someone, you are my secret friend.

(Haai Ram!!!! I am writing a blog like I am talking to someone, when did I become this dramatic? :@)

I still think of that person. I still go back to our WhatsApp chats in the middle of the night and keep on reminding myself that am nobody to bother or irritate anyone. Why the hell I still think of running to that person. It pains me to think of the hurt that I caused to that person. Why do I discount the fact that I was hurt too? Why am I like this? Why did I get jealous? Why did I get attached so much, that pressurised the other person? Why didn't I let it be? Not every relation needs a name. Why did I get angry? It is my fault that I am extremely emotional and sensitive, why should anyone else make their life a hell for me? Why did I consider myself so important?

I have tried to erase someone from my mind, nahi hota mujhse. What more should I do? I don't even touch my phone for days, have just immersed myself completely in other aspects of life but still that person's thoughts come into my mind. 

People have told me to date, I don't want to. I can't. It is not necessary that everyone should be like- aaj tum kal koi aur. I really can't. That person was the only one I have really opened upto, bared myself completely, shared all my dreams. There was none before or after that person. Nobody can take that place. That person was, is and always will be very special for me.

Why can't I be alone? What is wrong with it?

I guess, this is what is love...

For me, love happens only once. And it did.

Somewhere... November, 2015

P.S.- I don't think I will bother you much from now. There was a lot going on and I needed someone who can just listen. Thank you and sorry for bothering.

Gosh!!! I am writing a blog as if am talking to someone. Do I need to get a Psych consult? :P