I had boarded the coromandel Express from Chennai to reach
my hometown after the exams. MAN!!! What a ride it was. Two days in the train
just after one is done with the most tiring and exhausting exams of one's life,
it was just hell. The thoughts about how I have fared in the various Theory
papers, Practicals and Vivas plagued me throughout. But on the other hand there
was this euphoria that I will be in home for the next week.
Anyways, somehow I
managed to reach home and had a relaxing time. Even though the thoughts about
the results were always there, I made it a point to enjoy as much as I can.
Then came 17 August ,2009...the day my Phase I results were declared. I had
done reasonably well, and was the topper of my batch but I had missed
distinction with a whisker. I was crestfallen. I had done my best and was
hoping for better...I know achieving this much is not a small feat in itself, and
there were about 40 of my batchmates who had failed to make the cut and had to
repeat 6 months...but the prospect of missing distinction by 0.5% was
unbearable. Nothing could be done about it. So, I overlooked it and started
packing my bags so as to leave for the next year.
22 August, 2009...the day I started my Phase II of MBBS(Paraclinical
stuff). I remember entering the Gallery 5 of my college with some hopes that at
least somebody will congratulate me for my achievement but that didn't happen. I
was expecting few of the people whom I had helped in the past to at least say
that I did good...but nobody did. I was okay with it, people sometimes become
alone at the top...and the same happened with me.
During MBBS, the medicos are made familiar with the hospital
in the third term of their course, and it was the time for me to enter the
hospital. I was posted in Surgery (Unit IV) for two months, as a part of
clinical postings. We were just told the basic history taking and examination
aspects for the first few days and were given time to adjust to the
surroundings. We saw different case scenarios and were taken to the OTs( every Mondays-
OT day...with white dress for medicos... and every Thursday- OPD). I loved
every bit of it and was quite an active fellow. I loved anatomy and surgery is
kinda like amalgamation of Anatomy and pathology and surgical techniques and this in turn propelled me to give my best to
it. In addition, there was this requirement to learn kannada , being a medico, it is required that we know the local language and hence I was scrambling to know as much kannada as I can. I had made a separate notebook for it and I used to jot down all the phrases I got to know everyday in it. I continued trying and was hoping to be better in it by the year end.
I had become used to the regular routine and was comfortable
with each subject ( Pathology, Microbiology and Forensic), while I dreaded
Pharmacology. It never stayed in my brain ;) slowly...I was accustomed with
Petri Dishes(for Microbiology), Mortar and Pastel(for Pharmacology), Mosquitoes,
bees and various insects ( for Community medicine ) and last but not the least
Histopathology among other things (for Pathology). Time started to fly and then
it was time for the next posting..i.e OBG. I was posted in HOD sir's unit and
we had daily homework and reading to be done. He asked us questions while taking
attendance, I was completely fine with all this as it took most of my time and
I became occupied.
Third term is considered as honeymoon period during MBBS, as
the work load is comparatively less and people enjoy the fact that they have
come out of the hell called MBBS Phase I ;) I also got ample of free time and
made the most of it by watching movies, listening to songs , sketching a bit
sometimes and something called dancing :-p I had always been shy and never
really showed this side to anyone. I got another chance to hone my dancing
skills and I used to dance in gay abandon in my room with the earphones playing
loud music in my ears. Crazzzyyyy...I know ;)
 |
| A view of Bannimantapa (a locality in mysore) from my room |
Along with all this there was something else which was
keeping me busy, and that was the ways to strengthen my CV. I had already been
admitted in a not so good college and my aim in life was to prove that I can do
better. I had known about a Short Term Studentship by ICMR since my first year
and was interested to apply for the same. I had thought it over and Pathology
and Microbiology seemed like the subjects where I can devote my time without
being bothered, as it was something I liked. I went to quite a few professors
to talk about the same as we need guides to do the research work..but I have no
idea why I was shown the door, the teachers were like...don't do it, nobody
gets selected and once I was even scolded for asking a professor about the
same. I had no clue what I should do...I was upset and sad, I had just wanted
to apply , whether I get selected or not was not something I was bothered
about...but the prospect of that only seemed bleak. I slowly lost hope and was continuing with my
daily routine, by now we were in the last two months of our third term and were
posted in Medicine( Unit III). The first internals were fast approaching and I
had to prepare for that also.
 | |
| Charminar |
Just days before the exam, I got a call from one of my
friends that few students had gone and told the professors that they want to
apply for the said studentship and I should rush to get my name up for that. I
gave my name for it and was thankfully selected. This firmed my belief that if
you want something from all your heart, the universe transpires to give it to
you ( filmy right??? ;) or is it Paulo Cohelo? ;p )
My guide was a very
genuine and great teacher, she helped me immensely and whatever I learned about
making research proposal, selecting topics and all...I learnt from her..I will
even say that , most of my success is because of her and I am indebted to her
for life. But more on that later... ;)
I was ecstatic that I applied for the ICMR Studentship
eventually, but now there was this bigger problem of internals ahead of me. I
started giving all my time for it and somehow managed to finish all the
portions. I was reasonably satisfied with my performance. The only thing that
bothered me was Pharmacology, I was told in the examination hall to give all my
belongings and answer sheets and was searched thoroughly...I was completely in
shock and disbelief, I had never used unfair means in exams but on that day I
was accused of the same. This took some time and as a result I was disturbed
during the whole day and couldn't perform to my level best. But it is okay...it happens sometimes...one
gets screwed for no reason...and that is what happened with me that day. I was
acting all strong and fine on the outside, but deep inside me something was
broken...I was thinking that I have been wronged and being labelled for no
reason was not something I could digest.
I went home and cried my heart out, I knew this had impacted my performance
too...but I just couldn't help it.
As they say, time flies...slowly the days passed and
internals got over.
I had a sense of relief that about one and a half years have
gone since I came here and now only 4 years left.... But the major drama was
yet to begin ;)
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