I do wonder at times, what's the purpose of all this?
What am I going to get out of all this?
Is this really worth my life?
Just a bit of a back story: Late 2014-Early 2015, a time when I had to decide what's next. What should I choose in life and where I want to see myself a few years down the line.
It was one of the crucial decisions of my life, a decision where I had to choose between what I like and what I am supposed to like. A decision which will change the way am perceived by the people and what will decide what the future will hold for me.
It was the time when I had left everything to God. I was supposed to decide on future course of my career, while I was going through the pain that I had experienced for the first time (The pain called love).
I had to choose between the glamourous options like surgery, medicine and what I liked, the non-glamourous ones. A choice where I had to choose between what the society thinks is better for me or what I think is better for me. A choice where I had to choose between what is more "rewarding" (in terms of patient interaction & money) and what is more suited for me. I knew, even if chose to be a clinician, I might not like it in the long run (the pressure and other factors would have taken me for a ride), while choosing to be behind the curtains, I will be more at peace with myself and be with what I love (microscopes & slides) for the rest of my life.
It was a tough decision to make because guys are generally not "supposed" to take such fields. These fields are for people who want a "relaxed" life.
After a lot of deliberation, I chose what I liked. I thought one should do what they like and are fit for rather than running behind a mirage.
Cut to present: 2 years down the line, I do think at times, did I choose right?
Did I make a right decision?
Did I play with my life?
All my friends and colleagues from under graduation are pursuing the clinical specialities (how & why is a topic for some other day, not the right time for it), while I am doing something that is looked down upon at times.
Did I choose right?
I had the option, I could have gone for other specialities, did I do the right thing?
Now, I don't think anyone is satisfied here. This, being a place they consider the best in the country for my field, still people are not happy here, why?
Why does everyone just want to finish (if they can) and leave? Why they all talk how frustrated they are? Why?
A place like this is certainly not easy. The workload is unparalleled, with almost ten calls in a month and no sleep at all for many days, in addition to the daily humiliation and ridicule (with no returns in comparison). Many people leave the course midway and go, they loose a few years of their lives but still they choose to leave, why?
The thought of leaving it all, comes to all their minds. Some manage; while some let it go. The "negativity" is not worth it, they say.
This makes me dwell even more, did I do the right thing?
I believe it was in my destiny.
Destiny.
Was it?
What am I going to get out of all this?
Is this really worth my life?
Just a bit of a back story: Late 2014-Early 2015, a time when I had to decide what's next. What should I choose in life and where I want to see myself a few years down the line.
It was one of the crucial decisions of my life, a decision where I had to choose between what I like and what I am supposed to like. A decision which will change the way am perceived by the people and what will decide what the future will hold for me.
It was the time when I had left everything to God. I was supposed to decide on future course of my career, while I was going through the pain that I had experienced for the first time (The pain called love).
I had to choose between the glamourous options like surgery, medicine and what I liked, the non-glamourous ones. A choice where I had to choose between what the society thinks is better for me or what I think is better for me. A choice where I had to choose between what is more "rewarding" (in terms of patient interaction & money) and what is more suited for me. I knew, even if chose to be a clinician, I might not like it in the long run (the pressure and other factors would have taken me for a ride), while choosing to be behind the curtains, I will be more at peace with myself and be with what I love (microscopes & slides) for the rest of my life.
It was a tough decision to make because guys are generally not "supposed" to take such fields. These fields are for people who want a "relaxed" life.
After a lot of deliberation, I chose what I liked. I thought one should do what they like and are fit for rather than running behind a mirage.
Cut to present: 2 years down the line, I do think at times, did I choose right?
Did I make a right decision?
Did I play with my life?
All my friends and colleagues from under graduation are pursuing the clinical specialities (how & why is a topic for some other day, not the right time for it), while I am doing something that is looked down upon at times.
Did I choose right?
I had the option, I could have gone for other specialities, did I do the right thing?
Now, I don't think anyone is satisfied here. This, being a place they consider the best in the country for my field, still people are not happy here, why?
Why does everyone just want to finish (if they can) and leave? Why they all talk how frustrated they are? Why?
A place like this is certainly not easy. The workload is unparalleled, with almost ten calls in a month and no sleep at all for many days, in addition to the daily humiliation and ridicule (with no returns in comparison). Many people leave the course midway and go, they loose a few years of their lives but still they choose to leave, why?
The thought of leaving it all, comes to all their minds. Some manage; while some let it go. The "negativity" is not worth it, they say.
This makes me dwell even more, did I do the right thing?
I believe it was in my destiny.
Destiny.
Was it?
 |
| Destiny. Something that I never thought was in mine. But, it was. :) |
