Wish to hold you once

I wish, you were here, I would have shown you how much I care,
I wish, you were here, I would have made each moment count,
I wish, you were here, I would have given you all the love that I have,
I wish, you were here, I would have made up for every wrong,
I wish, you were here, I would have told you, how much I have missed you,
I wish, you were here, I would have made sure, all your wants are fulfilled.

I wish, you were here, I would have held you and never let you go again....

My Nitya-****d :)



It's futile of me to want, now. I have to pay for this, all my life. I have to pay the price for my truthfulness. I gave my family whatever they wanted. Now what, why am I supposed to be the gregarious one, still?

He has moved on long ago, while I still have the same desires. 


P.S.- Please Mr. Macintosh. What is there here?
Why can't you just write a comment or something.
Why do you keep on coming here? Is the drama, that my life is, funny to you?
Please do reply. Please, a request.

Don't worry, I am fine

Don't worry, I am fine. I want to just run away from all this, am fine.
Don't worry, I am fine. I want an end to all of this but am fine.
Don't worry, I am fine. I want to end my life and get a respite from all this but am fine.
Don't worry, I am fine. I want to just speak out when I am made fun of but am fine.
Don't worry, I am fine. I am getting even more breathless these days but am fine.


Ma, I still think of how I was told that I am unable to look beyond my emotions by the very person I loved the most. I still think of how my love was told as something that is an illusion, how I am someone soo DELICATE that someone didn't have the mind or maturity to handle me. How I didn't know how to be happy and was the unhappy negative thing.

Everything that I was going through was negated. Didn't I have the right to know certain things? Didn't I have the right to feel something when I came to know that certain things were hidden from me?

It was soo easy to move on from me and to look for greener pastures. I was a just a chapter which was closed.

Ma, I wasn't the same.

I know I might never be able to say all this to you also, ever.
After all, I don't have the right to.

I wish I was a different person altogether and didn't care to this extent for someone.




P.S. - Mr. Macintosh from U.S.A., I give up on asking you time and again. You are free to read whatever you want. Just remember, this is my personal page.